HELP!

Quick Conversions

• 12 inches = 1 foot → optimal mic‑to‑mouth distance for dramatic emphasis.
• 3 feet = 1 yard → standard radius of a passionate comedian arm‑flail.
• 16 fl oz = 1 pint → comedy‑club "one drink minimum" (per half‑hour).
• 1 kilogram ≈ 2.205 lb → approximate weight of a performer’s fragile ego.
• 1 mile = 1.609 km → distance comics travel for an open‑mic that throws in a free soda.

Times Tables (Greatest Hits)

Sentence & Joke Structure

• Subject + Verb + Object = Basic English sentence.
• Setup + Expectation → lull audience into safety.
• Punchline = Shatter expectation; harvest laughs.
• Tag = Bonus jab after the bell; keep laughs rolling.
• Callback = Joke boomerang—bring back an earlier bit for encore chuckles.

Misc. Handy Facts

• 1 cup = 16 tablespoons → perfect when the measuring spoons go missing.
• Water boils at 100°C / 212°F at sea level—lower on mountains, higher in pressure cookers.
• In the U.S. dial 911 for emergencies; in the EU, dial 112.
• Light travels roughly 299,792km/s; a snail crosses a sidewalk at ~0.0003 km/h. Plan accordingly.
• Letter‑size paper is 8.5 × 11 in; A4 is 210 x 297 mm. Printers have opinions.